


lovely.

by hajimes_erect_ahoge



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And angst, Angst, Character Study, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Ouma not Oma, Sad Ending, Sad Oma Kokichi, That's all I think, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, also I use honorifics, as per usual in my fics, but this is really sad and kinda a vent so be careful lol, can't forget angst, each chapter is a chapter of the killing game, hanahaki doesn't happen until chapter two, its basically just character study and introspection up until then, up to chapter four
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 11:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27850074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajimes_erect_ahoge/pseuds/hajimes_erect_ahoge
Summary: Forget-Me-Nots. A symbol of true love and fidelity. Its blue petals are soft to touch, yet sting and scratch as they claw their way out of one's throat.Falling in love during a killing game was less than ideal, but there was little to be done about it. All that Ouma could do was hack up delicate little flower petals and shove them under his bed, and inevitably elsewhere when they became too numerous, knowing that no one cared enough about him to visit him and spot the damning evidence.After all, all is fair in love and war.~~~~~~~~~~Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease where, as a result of unrequited love, flowers grow in the victim's lungs. This makes it difficult to breathe, the victim coughing up flower petals until their inevitable demise. Of course, there is an alternative to this: There is a surgery in which the flowers are removed, as well as the feelings of love that the victim felt. If the unrequited love turns out to be requited the flowers will also cease growing, although this is rare.~~~~~~~~~~my tumblr is @hajimes-erect-ahoge and my insta is @hajimes_erect_ahoge if you ever wanna talk about my fics <3
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	lovely.

**Author's Note:**

> owo what's this?? gabby posting something that isn't a postmortem update?? its more likely than you think!!
> 
> as you can tell by the title this is very loosely (I think?) based off of the song "lovely" by billie eilish and khalid bc that song always reminded me of kokichi so I just had to lol
> 
> so basically if you couldn't tell from the tags and the description: this is a hanahaki au where kokichi has unrequited feelings for shuichi during the killing game. im warning you all now, it WILL end sadly so be prepared for that lol
> 
> ALSO!!!! im sorry this chapter is gonna be really boring its basically just a recap of ch1 in v3 so you can skip it if you want! if you wanna get to the hanahaki just start like anywhere in chapter two lol sorry

Kokichi Ouma was many things: bright, intelligent, and mischievous. He had grown up without any substantial parental figures in his life, living on the streets with his group of pranksters that served as his found family. Dubbing himself the leader of this group of children, he proudly led them wherever the wind took them as they committed petty crimes, never doing anything that could actually be harmful to another human being. They may have been pranksters, but they weren’t animals.

And neither was Ouma. Murder was strictly forbidden amongst his group, as Ouma had decreed himself. Kokichi Ouma was a petty theft and vandalizer, not a murderer, nor would he ever be one.

So when Ouma found himself standing in front of a monochromatic bear telling him and fifteen other strangers to kill each other he was, to say the least, disturbed.

Ouma was also an incredibly selfless person. When they were out on the streets, Ouma did anything he could to bear the brunt of their adversity, even if it meant putting his life at stake. Even if he barely knew these people and had no attachment to them whatsoever, his strong disdain for killing compelled him to sacrifice himself for the sake of the group.

Now, sacrificing himself does not explicitly mean giving his life. Not yet, at least. Not when there were far too many other things he had to sacrifice first: his own safety and physical well-being, his happiness, and, above all, his sanity.

But, of course, he couldn’t tell anyone about his plans to do so. His innate distrust of others getting the better of him, he remained silent, waiting until he could be alone and develop his plan further. 

For now, he accompanied the others in the underground tunnel they had found, seeking an escape route. He knew it was pointless from the start; There’s no way their captors would leave any means of escape for them, let alone one handed to them on a silver platter. But he tried anyway, if only to prove to the others that it was useless when they failed to believe him.

Akamatsu had quickly emerged as the leader of the group, encouraging all of them to step into the dark and mysterious tunnel presented before them. When they failed, she would give an inspirational speech that filled them with enough optimism to try again. This occurred again and again, the fact that this escape route was a dead end becoming more and more apparent. 

Everyone was both physically and mentally tired, especially Ouma. Yet Akamatsu kept insisting that they try again, much to the dismay of the others. She must’ve been desperate to escape this place, and Ouma couldn’t blame her. However, her overly optimistic attitude of trying to hold hands and be friends with everyone was destined to fail, as would her plans of attempting to halt the killing game.

Ouma was a realist; He knew that the killing game would take place regardless, and he would have to incorporate that into his plan. If they didn’t cooperate and kill each other, their captors would find a way to coerce them into doing so. His only option was to try and stay alive long enough to flip the script on whoever was running this damned game, even if that meant committing some atrocious acts along the way. 

Solidifying the implications of this in his mind, he turned back to Akamatsu. She was about to give another spiel about teamwork and cooperation and how they should try to escape through the tunnel again when Ouma cut her off, telling her to knock it off already.

Akamatsu seemed taken aback, completely unaware of what she was putting the others through. He had to admit, her blind optimism and compelling leadership wasn’t boring, at least. But he could only sit back and take this brutal torture for so long, being forced to cater to her desperate hopefulness.

When he explained that to her she recoiled, prompting him to continue, stating that he wasn’t the only one who felt that way. While the others corroborated his statement, Akamatsu appeared to be on the verge of tears. He couldn’t show any compassion for her, as he quickly slipped into the role of the villain and vaguely suggested that they just go through with the killing game instead.

The horrified reactions of the others were abruptly cut off by the nighttime announcement, the Monokubz bantering with one another in an obnoxious manner. After the announcement, Ouma himself proposed meeting in the dining hall the next morning to discuss their current situation, to which the others agreed. While the rest of the group complained about having to sleep in the rooms given to them, Ouma chuckled internally. He knew he would be sleeping very little, if at all, as he was too focused on his plan to overthrow the killing game.

* * *

Ouma paced in his room, trying not to freak out too much as the reality of being trapped in a killing game settled in his mind. He was being proactive about it, already forming a plan to ruin this horrid game, so at least he had that to comfort himself. 

While the others had yet to acknowledge it, there was a great possibility that there was a spy amongst them, reporting back to Monokuma and aiding in the facilitation of the killing game. Because of this, Ouma had even more of a reason to trust no one, as anyone could be a potential traitor.

Blaming Akamatsu was the first step in a very intricate plan. This would create a divide in the group, caused solely by him. Being the source of that divide, he would emerge as an opposing force to Akamatsu, their leader. His plan was, essentially, to gradually solidify himself in the role of the villain, thwarting the plans of the others to work together while secretly forming his own plan to save everyone. 

Acting as the villain served two main purposes: One, to isolate himself from the others and ensure that they would not be aware of his plan (including the mastermind), and two, to have the group unite against a common enemy, strengthening their bonds. All of Ouma’s actions would culminate in him revealing himself as the dreaded mastermind that hid amongst the group, allowing him to fill the others with enough despair to bring the killing game to a hard stop.

An additional factor aiding in his plan to pose as the villain was his facetious personality and astounding ability to lie. He would present himself to the group as a trickster, lying left and right in an attempt to throw them off from what he was truly scheming, with the added bonus of hiding his true feelings behind a fake smile. No one would need to know how much he was suffering or how much he truly hated killing, instead believing his grand lie that he _loved_ killing and found this killing game entertaining. In the end, his true feelings were irrelevant as long as he could save as many of the others as possible. 

Now that he had the general scheme of his plan figured out, he would have to get into the specifics of how exactly to make the group believe he was evil enough to be the mastermind. If they didn’t think he was evil, they would never believe his declaration that he was the mastermind, so he would have to commit as many horrible acts as possible in order to get his plan to work.

Deciding that his plan was getting rather complicated, he figured it would help to have some sort of place to keep track of things. It was the middle of the night by now, so he travelled to the warehouse of the academy to obtain some supplies in secret.

A few trips back and forth to the warehouse allowed Ouma to collect a whiteboard, dry erase markers, a handful of notebooks, pencils, pens, regular markers, and many other supplies. He also took the time to obtain printed out pictures of each of the other students, using magnets to attach them to the whiteboard. There, he would keep track of who killed who as well as his thoughts about the other students, though he left it blank for now aside from the pictures.

Deciding that it was too risky to detail his plan on paper, he settled for doodling dozens of childlike drawings to serve as distractions for when he started putting things down on paper for real. Eventually he got tired and fell asleep on the floor, refusing to sleep in a bed that was given to him by the same people that kidnapped and trapped him here.

* * *

When the group met in the dining hall the next morning, Ouma was sure to bring up the fact that Akamatsu had gotten upset at them for giving up yesterday, blatantly ignoring how he was the first one to blame her. A few of the others rallied against him, pointing out exactly that, but Ouma just responded with theatrical crocodile tears, satisfied that his plan to unite the others against him was beginning to surface.

Appearing out of thin air, Monokuma came to announce the first motive: The First Blood Perk. This had the other students realizing that Monokuma was trying to tank Akamatsu’s plan to stop the murders, just as Ouma had expected. Regardless of that realization, a murder was bound to happen anyway; All that Ouma could do was distance himself from the others until he could execute his plan in full.

As Monokuma continued to spew his typical bullshit, the Monobukz also appeared, just as suddenly as Monokuma had. One thing led to another and the situation escalated, causing the Exisals to be taken out. Monokuma was promptly crushed by an Exisal, Ouma taking the opportunity to state that the killing game was _obviously_ over now, but of course he knew that was false. If what the Monokubz said was true and there really was a machine that could create more Monokumas, that would only confirm Ouma’s suspicions that there was a traitor among them as someone would have to activate that machine. Now completely confident in his plan to thwart the killing game, Ouma exited the dining hall with the others, heading back to his room to ruminate on his plan.

* * *

Monokuma reappeared the next morning in the dining hall, just as Ouma had expected. But what he announced to them next was something that not even Ouma could predict: the time limit motive. If no murders occurred within two days' time, Monokuma would supposedly eliminate all of the students forced to participate in the killing game. As panic surged through the group Ouma excused himself, paying no mind to the suspicious looks he garnered. In fact, he _preferred_ those suspicious looks as opposed to any other, as they paved him the perfect path for his eventual mastermind reveal.

Being as intelligent and observant as he is, Ouma didn’t miss the specific word choice used by Monokuma when announcing the motive. Saying that he would eliminate all the students _forced_ to participate in this killing game implied that there was someone amongst them who wasn’t forced to participate but rather had willingly joined, hence their role as the mastermind. This cemented the fact that there was a traitor in Ouma’s mind, causing him to be even less distrustful of the group.

Arriving at his room, Ouma wasted no time in locking the door behind him and heading to his whiteboard. He spent ample time staring at each picture and debating whether or not said individual had a possibility of being the mastermind, eventually landing on Akamatsu’s picture. There was a very low probability of her being the mastermind, though it was still a possibility, he supposed. 

Ouma wasn’t quite sure how he felt about Akamatsu. Her blind faith in others and trust in them to work together was pretty annoying, but it was admirable as well. He wondered how far she would be willing to go in order to protect the others…

There was also that boring detective who was practically glued to Akamatsu’s side, clinging to her for support. The boy’s ultimate talent had caught his interest at first, but Saihara had turned out to be quite boring in reality. He could barely get two words out while looking someone in the eye, relying on that stupid hat of his to block his vision. The chances of him being the mastermind were low as well, Saihara being way too awkward and dependent on others for something like that.

The next few hours were spent by Ouma in his room, drafting out some inventions on pieces of scrap paper that he could potentially bring to Iruma. If she accepted his requests, he could have a remote controlling the Exisals that would help to back up his later statement that he was the mastermind, as well as some other helpful tools. He spent a good amount of time thinking of potential inventions, as well as fake ones to throw off anyone who happened to get inside his room. 

Once he was done with that, he set about exploring the academy and searching for more clues. This was by no means a simple endeavor, as the campus was quite large. But over the course of the next two days until the time limit expired, he found some interesting things around the academy. The most notable of these being what seemed to be the code to a safe, the location of which was unknown to him at the time. Although he didn’t know what the codes were for, he had a feeling that they were a vital clue to the secret of this academy.

He searched all over, spending all of his free time investigating every nook and cranny of the academy. But it was no use; He was unable to find a place to input the codes he had found. Unsure of what to do with the mysterious codes for now, he placed them in the back of his mind, promising to himself to come back to them later.

The day that the time limit was supposed to expire started out particularly not boring, as there had been a scuffle in the dining hall. Hoshi was going on and on about sacrificing himself so that his killer could claim the First Blood Perk and go get help for the others, much to the horror of his classmates. Ouma remained unperturbed, however, heading out to the courtyard when things got particularly heated. If Hoshi had a plan to help everyone survive, who was Ouma to try and stop him? With the time limit just around the corner, he had other matters to busy himself with, such as trying to find a quicker plan to put an end to this killing game.

* * *

For someone who bragged about how fun this killing game was, Ouma was truly bored out of his mind. Spending all of his free time alone investigating and spending his time with the others lying through his teeth about how he felt… None of it was the slightest bit entertaining. It was sick, twisted and cruel, just like this killing game they were forcefully thrust into.

When Ouma heard the body discovery announcement he was, unsurprisingly, in his room sifting through all of the blueprints he had drawn up. According to the announcement, the body was in the library, so Ouma put down whatever he was doing and headed there as quickly as possible. A nervous rush washed over him at the thought of someone _actually_ being dead, but he couldn’t help but admit that he was curious as to who had bit the bullet.

Rushing into the library along with the others, Ouma saw nothing at first except for a group of the other students gathered in the back. He approached and saw Amami’s body, causing his blood to run cold. There was a copious amount of blood pooling around his head, his body lying limp on the ground. Ouma was no stranger to violence, his past having exposed him to enough of that, but he still experienced immense distaste at the thought of one of his classmates being dead. But despite his internal disgust, he plastered a bright smile onto his face, acting as if he were having the time of his life in this high-stakes killing game.

Soon enough, Monokuma appeared and handed out what he called “Monokuma Files” to aid their investigation, leaving as quickly as he showed up. Ouma quickly read it over, heading back into the main area of the school. Akamatsu was saying something about how everyone had to investigate with at least one other person, but Ouma ignored this. They couldn’t force him to stick with someone else, so he felt free to investigate as he pleased.

Hearing footsteps approaching, Ouma turned around to see Akamatsu heading in his direction with Saihara trailing behind. He gave them a cheeky smile, the mask he wore around the others prevailing as usual.

Akamatsu berated him for investigating without a partner, blatantly disobeying what the group had agreed on. Ouma laughed at this, acting as if he were having the time of his life being reprimanded by her. Next, Saihara came forward and asked Ouma what he was doing at the time of the murder. This caught his attention, as Saihara, as far as he knew, was never one to take the initiative when talking to others. Being with Akamatsu must have empowered him, giving him a temporary sense of confidence as he looked Ouma straight in the eye. Maybe Saihara wasn’t as boring as he thought.

After he refused to answer any of their questions truthfully, the duo gave up and went in search of more clues. Ouma watched them scurry away, feeling a bit jealous of their closeness before shoving these thoughts out of his mind. A killing game was no place for friendships or romance, he thought. Ignoring the crippling loneliness he felt, he headed off to investigate on his own.

* * *

The class trial came quicker than expected, and Ouma could feel his heart pounding in his chest as they rode the elevator down to the trial grounds. With just one small mistake the lives of everyone still standing would be endangered, a frightening thought. They would have to be absolutely flawless in their deductions if they wanted to survive, though the murderer themself would still be executed. It was a lose-lose situation; Either way, this trial would end with less people than it started with.

When they arrived at the trial grounds, Monokuma directed them all to their assigned podiums. The attention was immediately drawn to Ouma as a result of his “suspicious talent” as well as his penchant for lying, but it was quickly brushed off. Suspicion bounced around from one student to another, Akamatsu defending each and every one of them in the pursuit for the truth. The revelation of the fact that the cameras had thirty second intervals before they could take another picture immediately directed the suspicion towards Saihara, who did little to defend himself. Fortunately for him, Akamatsu stepped in once more to defend him more fervently than she had defended the others, even lying on his behalf.

Ouma himself was pretty convinced that Saihara was the culprit and that Akamatsu was just in denial, lying to protect his innocence out of disbelief that he was the culprit. But when the shy and timid Saihara brazenly stated that Akamatsu was the culprit even Ouma was in disbelief. It was like a new side of the detective had come out, and although it had pained him to say it, he sounded more confident than ever when he said those words. 

As the trial went on, Saihara proved without fault that Akamatsu was the culprit, along with many tears from the both of them. When voting time was upon them, Ouma reluctantly voted for Akamatsu. Not only were they losing another student, but they were losing their ever so optimistic leader who fiercely united them against Monokuma. She had entrusted her wish to Saihara, but would he be able to replace the void that she left? 

Akamatsu’s attempts to kill the mastermind were noteworthy enough that Ouma deemed her as being “not boring” before she was executed, a high compliment coming from him. But although she was determined to expose the mastermind, the decision to kill that crossed her mind had essentially made her lose the game and play exactly into Monokuma’s hands. Ouma would be different; Instead, he would win this killing game and defy Monokuma’s wishes outright.

As Akamatsu discussed her motive for killing, Ouma openly chastised himself for being useless, to which Saihara immediately pointed out that he was simply pretending and to drop the act. Something about the detective’s mannerisms had changed, leaving him a new person, and Ouma was, to say the least, _very_ fond of that change. He was intelligent, quickly catching on to Ouma’s lying charade and exposing his act in front of the others, and did so without remorse.

Although it may seem counterintuitive to his habit of lying, Ouma was secretly wishing that someone would come along that was able to see through his lies and realize his true nature. This, of course, would put a serious dent in his plans to overthrow the killing game, so Ouma reminded himself not to get too close to the boy. While he could admire him from afar, pursuing any sort of relationship was absolutely out of the question. Not that he was interested in someone like Ouma anyway, as he obviously was enraptured by Akamatsu. 

Speaking of Akamatsu, she was about to be executed, which was sure to be another unnecessarily gruesome sight. Ouma’s final words to Akamatsu were that she hadn’t been boring, which he truly meant. After everyone gave their final words to Akamatsu she entrusted her wish to all of them, a wish that even Ouma took to heart, regardless of how he acted on the outside.

The execution itself was only a few minutes long, but they were the most excruciating minutes of Ouma’s life. Being forced to watch Akamatsu meet her demise in such a gory way was difficult, but he managed to get through it with minimal cracks in his facade.

Ouma stood there silently along with the remaining classmates, still in utter disbelief of what they had just witnessed. But regardless of how in shock they were, there was no ignoring the fact that Akamatsu was dead and they had to move on. Suppressing the swirl of unpleasant emotions he felt, Ouma smiled cheerfully as if nothing was wrong. He acted as a bystander as Momota punched Saihara for not dealing with Akamatsu’s death like a man, simply allowing the others to grieve as they needed to in their own, strange ways. 

As for how Ouma would grieve, the answer was simple: he wouldn’t. He had no time to grieve as he busied himself with his mastermind plan, at least, not in front of the others. Shedding a few tears while he was by himself in his room wasn’t completely off the table, but Ouma had other, much more important things to do in the meantime.

Once he was sure that no one else was around, Ouma snuck off into the courtyard with a marker in hand. He quickly scribbled the code “horse a” on a stone in the courtyard in a perfectly diagonal formation, leaving space for the other letters he so intricately planned on adding later. After that, he headed to the boiler room and found a spot obscured by some plants, scribbling the code “twins b” on the wall. He then hurried back to his room, having successfully carried out this part of his plan.

Now back in his room, Ouma jotted down the words “This is not a will” on the back of an envelope, putting the important information regarding the codes in the envelope. He left it somewhere where it was sure to be found if someone investigated his room, not wanting his efforts to go without results. The probability that he would live was low, so it was essential to leave these clues for the others to aid them in their quest to defeat the mastermind.

Collapsing onto the bed, Ouma shut his eyes, but only for a few seconds. He couldn’t allow himself to sleep, as he had much more important things to be doing regarding his plan, but a few moments of rest did feel a bit relaxing. 

So much had happened in one day, and Ouma was having a hard time processing all of it. Amami and Akamatsu were dead, and there was no bringing them back, no matter what. They had lost the mysterious boy who couldn’t even remember his own talent and seemed to know more than he let on, as well as the girl who united everyone against a common threat. Now that she was gone, Saihara would have to fill her shoes, however hard that may be for him. 

After giving himself a moment of silence to mourn Amami and Akamatsu properly, Ouma got back to work, finalizing his invention designs. The night would be long, boring and lonely, but when was it not? He couldn’t afford to get close to any of the other students here, as that would only intensify the pain he felt upon losing them. But most importantly, _he_ didn’t want _them_ suffering if he inevitably lost his life to this game, pushing them away as much as possible so that they would shed no tears upon his demise. For now, his demise was only a possibility, but his plan could change at any moment depending on what information he was given.

Repressing all of his current thoughts, Ouma prepared himself to get back to work on his plan. He had no time to waste, so he busied himself once more, ignoring the faint itch at the back of his throat that persisted in bothering him. Paying no mind to it, he set about making another few dozen fake invention blueprints, completely ignorant to what the universe had in store for him.


End file.
